Thursday, November 06, 2008

Joan Allen Set To Paint Large-Scale Pastel Vaginas

JA from MNPP here. Via The Hollywood Reporter this morning comes some interesting news on one of my very favorite actresses:

"Joan Allen and Jeremy Irons are set to star in a Lifetime biopic about the late American artist Georgia O'Keeffe, with Bob Balaban on board to direct....

"Georgia O'Keeffe," from Sony Pictures TV, is something of a passion project for the three exec producers, who conceived and have been developing the movie as a team for four years; at one point, it was in development at HBO.

"Georgia" will follow the turbulent 20-year love affair between the celebrated artist (Allen) and photographer Alfred Steiglitz (Irons). The movie, set to premiere in third-quarter 2009, was written by Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Cristofer ("Gia"). Tony Mark ("And Starring Poncho Villa as Himself") is producing."

What's that? HUH? I can't hear you over sound of the sirens in my head set to detect whenever fatal levels of estrogen are present. Must be something about the co-mingling of Joan Allen, notorious flower-to-labia equater Georgia O'Keeffe, the Lifetime Network Television For Women and/or Homosexuals and/or Golden Girls aficionados, and the writer of the movie that introduced us to Angelina Jolie's 22-year old breasts having torrid lesbian sex... something about that brew seems to be signaling a raise in lady-fumes in the air... hmm...

But in all seriousness, can we cross Emmy off of Joan's checklist now? If only that Oscar weren't so damned elusive...
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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two things:

1. We can indeed cross an Emmy off the endlessly brilliant Joan Allen’s checklist.
2. Pastel vaginas are better than real vaginas, so I am looking forward to this.

That is all.

abstew said...

nathaniel, remember how michelle pfeiffer has been wanting/attached to make a georgia o'keeffe biopic since, oh, forever? do you think it will ever happen?

dear joan,
i know this sounds like a good idea on paper. what's not to love about a biopic about a famous artist? (ie POLLOCK, FRIDA, BASQUIAT)and who doesn't love jeremy irons? but, joan, i have one word for you-lifetime. do i even NEED to add 'orginal movie'? quick, name one that was halfway decent and not in a fun, campy, MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER, kind of way. they all look like they were filmed in some college film class with a camera dipped in vaseline. it doesn't matter that bob balaban is directing-somehow it will have that lifetime look. the network will find a way! and frankly, joan, you deserve better. you have 3 oscar nominations! don't sell yourself short. and you wouldn't want to take work away from merrideth baxter-birney, now, would you?
your true fan,
ANDY

Anonymous said...

This should have been an Oscar vehicle for Joan Allen than some Lifetime tripe.

Fox said...

HEADLINE OF THE YEAR!

Anonymous said...

lifetime used to have golden girls at 10P....time to settle down, get cozy and catch up w dorothy, blanche, ma & rose. It's long gone at 10PM. Can't find it anywhere. always some stupid movie with Melissa Gilbert, Cheryl Ladd, connie seleca, etc. I want me some "Golden Girls"!....another thing that bothered me slightly on "Lifetime" - they cut half the theme some - and if you a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and card attached would say, thank you for being a frined. so...Lifetime: Bring back Golden Girls at 10PM - and leave in the whole theme song.

NATHANIEL R said...

Jimmy -amen to the theme song in full (i feel that way about all opening credit theme songs --even the bad ones)

abstew --of course i remember! (sigh) but pfeiffer was just never an agressive enough star to pursue her pet projects. i think this is why her producing venture was so shortlived. she's the kind of star who just needs the director and screenplay to be there and for her to show up and be brilliant.

Billy Held An Oscar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I just saw Off the Map which features a Joan Allen nude scene! How come no one told me earlier? And Sam Elliot was great, and should have gotten an Oscar nomination, seriously.

Hayden said...

It's funny when roles in TV movies and miniseries become more surefire successes than baity parts on the big screen. When you see the stars aligning for a TV project, you KNOW it's gonna be great.

And good for her.

Alexa said...

Indeed, I may need a shot of testosterone after that. BUT! Joan is the bomb (despite Death Race). Maybe she can pull a Giamatti and score an Emmy after Oscar gave the brush-off.

Walter L. Hollmann said...

jimmy -- on the East Coast, at least, we get Golden Girls at 1:30am, between Rita Rocks! and The Nanny. it annoys me, because i used to get a full hour of Blanche Time. nw i watch reruns on YouTube, of all places.